


It Will Be You They Find

by NotManTheLessButNatureMore



Category: Cormoran Strike Series - Robert Galbraith
Genre: Death, Gen, KIND OF I GUESS, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 21:28:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18819367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotManTheLessButNatureMore/pseuds/NotManTheLessButNatureMore
Summary: “One day, tens of millions of years from now, someone will find me rusted into the mud of a world they have never seen, and when they crumble me between their fingers, it will be you they find.” ― Jeanette Winterson.If there’s another world after this Leda will remember.





	It Will Be You They Find

**Author's Note:**

> RL-wise, I feel like I’ve come out of a dark tunnel (or maybe we’re only stopped at a station) so why not celebrate by getting overly emotional about a side character I know very little about. K? Cool.

If there’s another world after this Leda will briefly remember the feel of silk beneath her, the hard mattress and the way her chest became heavier and heavier, its movements slower and slower.

 

If there’s another world after this her memories will morph and change and run in front of her without any regard for order. She’ll see and feel Lucy run into her arms during her third birthday and then look beside her to see Cormoran’s sheepishly proud face as his English teacher sings his praises. She will run into the freezing water at a Cornish beach as a six year old with Jenny, her best childhood friend, and then find herself calling Lucy, Cormoran and Ilsa out of the sea for lunch. Ice cream smeared faces will look up at her and talk to her about things that haven’t happened yet; an eight year old Cormoran will talk excitedly and nervously about his first day at Oxford and a six year old Lucy will describe her future sons.

 

Always these memories will have an echo of a baby’s cry at the end, another child calling for her, but her mind will do battle with a dark figure always on the edge of these memories.

 

She’ll remember the nine months spent in Cornwall after Cormoran was born, when he was her entire world and for a short time the pull of the unknown, the edge of life, didn’t have control over her. She’ll remember his sun dappled body squirming about on the blanket she has spread across the sand as she holds an umbrella aloft trying to keep his pale skin perfect. She’ll feel the press of his hand against her knee as he pats sand onto her skin, the smell of his hair as she kisses his head. His giggles, squawks and hungry cries are her only company and she’ll stay inside this memory until the crashing waves lull the curly haired boy to sleep and another memory pulls her close.

 

She’ll remember when their world expanded to admit one tiny doll-like little girl. One of her fondest memories is of holding a newly arrived Lucy against her chest and trying to coax a wary two year old Cormoran up onto her hospital bed. She sat with tears in her eyes and a wide smile on her face, all pain momentarily forgotten, as brother and sister met. Cormoran crawled across the bed and sat up on his knees, mouth rounded in wonder and caution, a hand gripping Leda’s nightgown as Lucy’s eyes found his and a tiny had reached out. They swapped the Cornish beach for a London park and Leda’s heart filled up all over again when Lucy took her first steps in Myatt’s Field, waddling unsteadily but determinedly from her mother to her brother as they sat in the grass, their legs outstretched creating a barrier of long slender and small chubby limbs.

 

If there’s a world after this she will eventually cry out for her baby, will hear his screams and return them as his grandparents try to settle him each night while her face and smell fades faster and faster from his little mind. She will be ripped apart by her own inquest, by Cormoran’s face as he steps onto the train at Oxford for the last time, by the silence in that last dark flat as Shanker, Lucy and Cormoran pack boxes and by Lucy’s heartbroken search for understanding and a home.

 

She will be torn apart again by an IED explosion and the silence met by her aching pleas and soft soothing words in the days, weeks and months that follow. She will be torn apart many times but she will be put back together many more times over; Lucy’s beaming smile as she walks up the aisle with a firm grip on Cormoran’s arm, the cries of her first grandchild, and second and third. She will let loose a bellow of a laugh in the middle of Vashti when she sees her son’s face as he is confronted with that green dress. Her words, “ _you‘re well and truly screwed, darling_ ”, will fall silent but she’s knows Cormoran understands. The look on Cormoran’s face each and every time Robin tells him she loves him will warm Leda’s heart once more.

 

If there’s a world after this the good will always outweigh the bad.

**Author's Note:**

> I started going down a different path with this, including all the darker memories too (particularly the Whittaker years) but then I thought Leda had enough hard times so I ended up with this.
> 
> As always thanks for reading! Also thanks for all the lovely comments on my last fic, I do appreciate every one and will get around to replying. :)


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